Mining the Gap: Being Aware, Awake, and Response Agile for Your Own Development
Growth rarely happens in comfort. It happens in the space between where we are and where we want to be. That space—what I call the gap—is where transformation lives. It’s where you face the tension between your current reality and your highest potential.
Most people try to avoid the gap. They rush to close it, numb it, or ignore it altogether. But the truth is, the gap isn’t a void to be feared. It’s a gold mine to be explored. When you learn how to mine the gap, you uncover the lessons, insights, and breakthroughs that fuel development and transformation.
The key? Cultivating awareness, staying awake, and practicing ResponseAgility™.
What Does It Mean to “Mine the Gap”?
“Mining the gap” is about turning moments of tension, discomfort, or misalignment into fuel for growth. Just like miners extract valuable resources from deep within the earth, you can extract wisdom, clarity, and transformation from the spaces where your actions don’t align with your intentions.
Think of the gap as the difference between:
The leader you want to be and the leader you currently are.
The life you envision and the habits you practice daily.
The values you say you hold and the choices you actually make.
When you acknowledge and lean into this space, you stop operating on autopilot and start operating with intention.
Step One: Awareness – Seeing the Gap Clearly
Awareness is the foundation of all growth. Without it, the gap remains invisible, and invisible patterns can’t be changed.
Awareness requires pausing long enough to take inventory of your thoughts, behaviors, and results. It’s asking yourself:
Where am I thriving?
Where am I out of alignment with my values or goals?
What do my results reveal about the way I’m showing up?
For example, you may say you value health, but awareness reveals that your schedule leaves no room for rest or exercise. You may intend to lead with empathy, but awareness shows that your tone in meetings shuts down collaboration. You may believe you’re advancing your career, but awareness highlights that you’re stuck in reactive firefighting rather than strategic contribution.
Awareness isn’t always comfortable. In fact, it often exposes blind spots. However, those blind spots are the raw material for growth. Without them, you stay stuck repeating the same patterns.
Step Two: Awakening – Shifting How You See
Awareness by itself can sometimes feel heavy. When you notice the gap, your first instinct may be guilt, shame, or frustration: Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I figure it out?
This is where awakening comes in. Awakening is the choice to see things differently. It’s the moment when you stop judging the gap as a failure and start seeing it as an invitation.
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” you ask, “What is this gap here to teach me?”
Here’s an example: imagine you catch yourself procrastinating on a big project. Awareness tells you, “I’m delaying.” Awakening reframes the situation: “This isn’t laziness. It’s fear. I’m afraid of failing, so I’m avoiding the risk.” That shift in perspective opens a new path. You stop attacking yourself and start addressing the real issue.
Step Three: ResponseAgility™ – Choosing a Better Way Forward
Awareness shows you the gap. Awakening reframes it. But without action, nothing changes. This is where ResponseAgility™ comes in.
ResponseAgility™ is the ability to pause, assess, and choose a response that aligns with your values and desired outcomes—rather than reacting automatically.
Most people live in reactivity. Someone challenges them, and they snap. Stress builds, and they shut down. Deadlines loom, and they procrastinate. These reactions are often habitual, unconscious, and misaligned with what they truly want.
ResponseAgility™ changes the game. It gives you a moment of choice. Instead of reacting to a difficult colleague with avoidance or micromanagement, a response-agile leader chooses to initiate a candid, compassionate conversation. Instead of reacting to stress with unhealthy coping habits, a response-agile professional chooses to pause, breathe, and take one constructive step forward. Instead of reacting to a mistake with defensiveness, a response-agile person chooses accountability and learning.
ResponseAgility™ doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being intentional. It’s not about how fast you respond, but how aligned your response is with the bigger picture of who you want to be.
Mining the Gap in Your Own Development
Mining the gap is not a one-time event. It’s an ongoing practice. Here are some ways to put it into action:
1. Notice Your Patterns
Keep track of the moments when you feel stuck, triggered, or out of sync. These are signals pointing to a gap worth exploring.
2. Pause for Perspective
Before reacting, take a breath. Ask yourself: What is the growth opportunity here? What’s really going on beneath the surface?
3. Choose an Intentional Response
Instead of defaulting to old habits, pick an action that reflects your values and long-term goals. This might feel small, but over time these choices reshape your trajectory.
4. Reflect and Refine
At the end of the day or week, reflect on how you handled the gaps you encountered. Celebrate progress. Learn from missteps. Growth is iterative.
Why Mining the Gap Matters in Leadership
This practice is especially powerful for leaders. Why? Because leaders set the tone for their teams. When you mine the gap in your own development, you model awareness, humility, and agility for those around you.
Consider these leadership gaps:
A leader wants innovation but punishes mistakes.
A leader values collaboration but dominates conversations.
A leader talks about work-life balance but sends late-night emails.
These contradictions erode trust and engagement. But when leaders acknowledge and work through their gaps, they create cultures where growth is not only possible, but expected.
Mining the gap builds authenticity. And authenticity builds influence.
Turning Discomfort into Development
The gap will always be part of the human experience. No matter how accomplished you are, there will always be a space between your current reality and your next level of growth.
The difference between stagnation and transformation lies in how you approach it. Ignore the gap, and you repeat the same patterns. Judge the gap, and you stay stuck in shame. Mine the gap, and you grow into a fuller, more authentic version of yourself.
A Practical Example
Imagine this scenario:
You’ve committed to being a more present leader, but in today’s team meeting, you caught yourself multitasking and missing important points.
Awareness: You notice the gap—your behavior didn’t align with your intention.
Awakening: You reframe the situation. Instead of beating yourself up, you realize the behavior came from overwhelm, not lack of care.
ResponseAgility™: You choose to own the moment. You apologize for being distracted, refocus on the conversation, and afterward, block time to manage your workload more effectively.
Mining that gap doesn’t just improve your own development. It strengthens your team’s trust in you as a leader.
The Gift in the Gap
Every day, life hands you opportunities to mine the gap. They often come disguised as frustrations, failures, or uncomfortable moments. But beneath the surface lies the treasure; the chance to learn, grow, and realign with your highest potential.
Mining the gap requires courage, humility, and persistence. It’s not easy work, but it’s the work that creates transformation from the inside out.
So the next time you notice a gap between where you are and where you want to be, don’t rush to close it. Pause. Breathe. Explore.
P.S. Want to learn more about mining your own gaps? Sign up for my Evolve the Leader Within Seminar Series!