The Art of the Relationship
As we head into fall, the season of reflection and renewal, the turning leaves remind us that change is both beautiful and inevitable. For many of us, the fourth quarter of the year is when we pause to look back: What mattered most? What moments stand out?
When I reflect on my favorite memories from the past year, almost every one involves relationships—laughing with friends, connecting deeply with colleagues, or playing with my grandkids. Yes, nature was part of it. Physical activity, too. But the heart of every meaningful memory was the connection in the relationship itself.
This realization is a complete shift from the way I lived 35 years ago.
From Independence to Interdependence
Three decades ago, I thought all I needed was me. If I could take care of myself, my kids, and the family finances, I’d be fine. My days were filled with responsibilities and to-do lists. Life felt like something I had to get through.
I measured progress by what I could check off. I was always pushing toward what was next, without really being present to what was now.
As the primary breadwinner, survival came first. Nurturing relationships came later, if at all.
If I could go back, I would do things differently. I know now what I didn’t know then. Thankfully, life gives us second chances, and I get to do things differently with my grandkids. That change came from understanding something simple but profound: the quality of your life is reflected in the quality of your relationships.
Relationships Require Intention
Healthy relationships, whether personal or professional, don’t happen by accident. They require clear intention.
Ask yourself:
What kind of relationship do I want this to be?
What’s the purpose or spirit behind it? Love? Friendship? Collaboration? Mutual exchange?
Every relationship needs a shared understanding of what it is and what it needs to thrive. That doesn’t mean rigid rules. But every relationship needs clarity.
In personal relationships, the measure of success is simple: are both people happy? Are they fulfilled by the way the relationship feels? When both are satisfied, they keep showing up, keep engaging, and keep growing together. When they’re not, communication breaks down, trust fades, and distance grows.
Communication Is the Lifeblood of Relationship
Trust and communication go hand in hand. Some people feel trust through consistent connection like regular check-ins, shared experiences, and presence. Others build trust through reliability, doing what they said they’d do, and following through on commitments.
Both are valid. Both are essential.
Here’s the truth. Good communication is more about listening than talking. When you do speak, be clear, concise, and intentional. Whether it’s saying “I love you,” asking “What do you want to do today?”, or discussing key performance indicators at work, clarity matters.
In writing, we call it conserve the word. In communication, it means make your words count. People’s attention is limited, so we need to speak purposefully and listen fully.
Every conversation is a Conversation for Action: a chance to create understanding, alignment, and agreement about what happens next. When we skip that step, we fall into what I call “the drift.”
The Drift vs. Intention
When we don’t set an intentional course for our relationships, we drift.
We react to circumstances instead of creating them.
We absorb the chaos of the outside world instead of choosing how to respond.
In the drift, communication becomes autopilot. We say what we always say. We stop rehearsing who we want to be. And when something upsets us, we react instead of respond.
The antidote is practice—rehearsing the conversations that matter, even with ourselves. Visualize how you want it to go. Feel the energy of your intention. When you meet others from that space, your words carry clarity and care. People feel that they matter—and that changes everything.
The Practice of Intentional Communication
Intentional communication is a practice, not a performance. It starts with setting an intention, imagining it coming true, and aligning your words and actions to support it.
When I think about this fall season and the relationships that fill my life, my personal commitment is this:
To communicate with intention and clarity.
To leave people better than I found them.
To be clear about my requests and build alignment.
To ensure that every conversation ends with empowerment and shared purpose.
Because when we bring intention to our communication, we bring love. And when love and clarity meet, everything else falls into place.
The Art of the Relationship
At our core, we all want the same thing: to work with people we love, to spend time with those who uplift us, and to be surrounded by those who help us become our best selves.
That begins and continues with communication. Intentional communication is the art of relationship. It’s the bridge between understanding and connection, between isolation and belonging, between transaction and transformation.
When we bring clarity, we create space for love. And when nothing stands in the way, what’s left is simple and beautiful:
Connection. Presence. Joy.
P.S. If you’re looking a way to enhance the relationships in your life through better communication and intention, join the Evolve the Leader Within Seminar Series, a weekly 90 minute session to elevate your leadership in every area of your life.
P.P.S. Leave a comment or contact me. I’d love to hear from you!